This Thought was almost published as a defense to the backlash from “Relationships, Un-Friending, and Burning Bridges”. Yet, lying in bed last night, I reminded myself that this site was design to help young-adults take a proactive approach to living meaningful lives and that relationships play a crucial role in this journey. Therefore, there was no need to defend myself for writing a post suggesting a few steps to create better friendships.
So early this morning I scrapped the “I’m Right and Here’s Why” type essay and instead came up with this:
7 Observations About Friendship
- Fake-Friends Exist: After reading about these lottery winners, I realized how many fake friendships are based on faulty values. Do you truly want fake friends in your life? I made my choice: have you?
- Different People View Relationships Differently: I expressed a few steps for building better relationships: it works for me, it’s my decision, and I am following through with. You, however, see it differently, so do what works best for you.
- Role Models / Mastermind: There will always be “talk” in your life, whether positive or negative. A big reason for writing “I Don’t Care What You Think” and “Relationships, Un-Friending, and Burning Bridges” was to cut down on the useless input and instead listen to people I care about. Try making a Master Mind Group of people whose answers you respect, who you trust, and who you can truly count on. Then only listen to their feedback.
- Assumptions: There were an amazing amount of assumptions made about this post, my actions, and what it meant for various relationships. Much of the drama occurred because people simply assumed what I was doing instead of clarifying it with me. Assumptions kill relationships quickly. Instead of assuming, go straight to the source and figure out the truth.
- Feedback Varies According to Age: Many of the negative comments came from young people while ALL of the feedback from older people was positive. Different age groups think differently. One key idea to keep varied feedback is to have older friends, peers, and younger friends.
- Lack of Responses: I received quite a few responses about the post, which I greatly appreciate. But in real life, most of my negative actions pass without response. Part of the reason I started reorganizing friendships was because friends were talking behind my back instead of bringing the problem to me. If a friend acts in a way that negatively affects you, respond directly to him and it will strengthen your relationship.
- Everyone evaluates his or her friends with some sort of ranking system: We all let people in and out of our lives based on a variety of factors. The problem arises when this flow takes you away from the your desired direction. It takes effort to build fundamentally sound relationships that propel you forward while it takes no effort to blindly accept what comes your way.
Whether you agree or are totally disgusted with my thoughts, hopefully these last two posts inspire you make crucial relationship decisions that are important to a meaningful life.
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Please invite friends to share in the conversation below: you might learn something about them.